“If you knew how much you impact the world by thriving you would shine your light and fill your cup every day”
You are important to the world. Shining your light is important to the world. You probably don’t realize how important it is that YOU thrive. In today’s society most of the emphasis is put on keeping yourself dim in order to help others. Society in general looks down upon self care and celebrates the care of others before self. This is especially true for women. We have lived in thousands of years of expectation that women take care of everyone else before they take care of themselves. This has been ingrained in our patriarchal culture for generation after generation.
The fundamental truth is that the most effective way to help others is to be an example. If you shine you are then teaching others how to also shine. For example, if you want your children to learn how to be healthy and fit the most effective way for them to reach it is by watching and following your actions, not your words but YOUR actions. If you want your children to learn how to live their lives with an empty cup and put everyone before themselves and not take care of themselves then they will do that if that’s what their parents actually do.
The important concept to remember is that when your cup is full you are leading others to also fill their cups. You are changing other women’s lives by filling your cup. You are very little help to others by operating on an empty cup and therefore perpetuating the empty cup syndrome.
However, the challenge may arise when you are *expected* to take care of everyone else before yourself. You may also come across judgement towards you ~ you may seem to some as being “selfish” because you focus on taking care of yourself or you focus on creating lifestyle changes that support your thrive. Do not give in to judgement or expectations ~ they will cause you to live according to everyone except YOU. If this comes up ~ be a part of the change in this world especially for women and take some of the action steps below.
During the years that I coached our women’s triathlon team (beginning women going for their first long course races in triathlon) I witnessed a great many inspiring life changes of our ladies. As they began thriving and making choices that helped them become healthier and happier they created change in their lives. In some cases they found that they were in relationships that did not support their thriving. Some of these partners put up tramendious barriers to them simply getting a short training session in. In some cases they were told over and over that they were selfish for taking care of themselves and doing triathlon for their health. This was sad to watch, however, I am happy to report that all of these women ended up making lifestyle changes (some moving on without that partner & or creating new groups of friends) and creating a far more healthy and immensely happy life. They followed their thrive and did not give in to the conditioning that women should serve before taking care of themselves.
If every woman focused on filling their cup our world would be an extraordinary place.
Write a crazy list. The writing prompt for this list “If it was just me and no one else depended on me and I received no judgement from anyone ~ what would I really do? What awesome and amazing and crazy things would I do” This prompt is all about releasing your perceived limitations. This is should be an unrealistic list. It’s a space opening fun exercise. If you find yourself resisting this one then really check in with yourself on the guilt meter because it’s such an effective prompt for YOU to expand your space. It does not mean you about to do all of the things on your list.
Daily thrive list. This is all about being aware of what you are doing to thrive. By doing this daily exercise you will begin connecting with how much you are compromising yourself and how much you are really doing things that help you thrive. “at the end of each day write a list of ALL of the things you did for yourself today that contributes to YOUR thrive”
Thrive goal event. Create a goal that forces you to focus on thriving. For some people this is signing up for a race. When you sign up for something you then have something to work towards and focus on that will help you stay focused on YOUR thrive. This also helps in creating conversations of support with the people around you.
Have real conversations. Have a real conversation with those around you telling them you will be focusing on creating a full cup vs. an empty cup and explain to them how that will help everyone including you.
When you begin making those decisions to fill your cup and thrive there may be those around you who resist. Remember it’s been ingrained for thousands of years that women are not worth their own thrive. It may sound harsh but history still lives in our culture and expectations and judgement are still there. Let’s change it!! Change can be challenging for some ~ be strong!! YOU are creating much more light in the world and creating positive change by filling your cup!